Hi! After weeks of laziness, procrastination, and obligations I just had to do, I have finished my latest fan fiction. It’s mostly a bromance story which is part of the canon of the Untitled series I’m writing. I hope you guys enjoy it!
Disclaimer: As usual I do not own any of the one direction boys!
Seeing
Liam was ignoring him.
At least, that was what Zayn thought.
He hasn’t quite proven it to himself yet. He wasn’t a hundred per cent sure because every time the said ignoring occurs, it appears as if Liam didn’t actually ignore him but due to unfortunate circumstances the younger boy wasn’t able to respond.
“But it’s been a week”, Zayn reminded himself.
The first time it happened was at night. All the boys were already lying on their respective beds, waiting for sleep to claim them. Zayn remembered lying on his back with his head resting on his hands, his elbows pointing towards the headboard, when a sleepy Niall asked Liam if he could borrow one of his pillows.
“I just want to hug something soft and cuddly tonight,” a heavy-eyed Niall reasoned.
Unsurprisingly, Liam got out of his bed and gave Niall one of his pillows, wishing the Irish lad a good night and sweet dreams before he returned to his bed. About five minutes later a restless Zayn turned over on his side to look at Liam, who was lying on his side as well, his back towards Zayn. One of the few things that made Zayn drowsy was to have someone talk to him about nothing in particular, and Liam usually did this for him whenever he found it difficult to sleep.
“Liam.” Zayn whispered.
Liam didn’t move.
“You awake Li?”
The boy remained still.
Zayn didn’t think Liam was already asleep, seeing as he was fully awake just a few minutes ago. But then again, he contemplated, they were all tired from rehearsals and other activities such as shooting their fifth video diary. The Bradford teen concluded that Liam probably had fallen asleep as soon as he hit the bed after he attended to Niall.
The day after that evening Zayn began to feel that something wasn’t quite right between him and Liam. Zayn woke up that morning feeling ravenous. He went straight to the kitchen to scavenge for breakfast. Just as he entered the kitchen he found Liam walking towards him.
“Vas Happenin’ Liam!” He greeted animatedly, throwing his arms out and smiling like a madman as he did it for effect.
Liam didn’t even stop to acknowledge his existence. The Wolverhampton teen walked past him as if he was air.
Invisible, thin, taken-for-granted air.
Granted, of course, Liam had his ears plugged with earphones; but Zayn knew from the time that they have spent together that Liam didn’t like to play his tunes at a deafening sound level. Zayn scratched his head, the lure of food momentarily abated, “’Vas Happenin’ always made Liam crack up,” Zayn thought. “May be I got the accent wrong this time.”
The rest of the week was filled with similar situations whenever Zayn wanted to grab Liam’s attention or simply talk to him. There was the time when, feeling like he could use some exercise, Zayn went to fetch Liam from their room to accompany him. He found Liam lounging on his bed, his face hidden behind Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. When Zayn asked him if he’d like to go jogging, he merely shook the book in his hands without uttering a single word. There was also that time when Zayn saw the rest of the boys playing soccer outside the house. He came down to join them but just before he did Liam excused himself, saying something about being hungry and that he needed to do something.
“Did I do something wrong?” Zayn asked himself.
__________
“Alright, take a break guys. Stay around the stage though, I’ll be back in ten,” Joey told them.
There was a collective sigh from everyone on the stage. They have been practising the dance routine for the next live show for three hours straight and everyone relished the chance of having a breather.
“I can’t wait to go back to the house. Zoey said she and the rest of the cooks were gonna prepare a feast for us,” Zayn announced.
As if in response, Niall’s stomach made a grumbling sound. “Ah that sounds sweet. I personally hope it’s a chicken feast. It’s been days since I sunk my teeth into a delicious piece of char-grilled, juicy chicken.”
“Which part’s your favourite Niall?” Liam asked, his growing hunger drawing him into the conversation.
“The legs mate! No question! ‘bout you Harry?”
Harry grinned from ear to ear.
“Breasts.”
“Breasts! Did someone just mention jugglies?” an excited Louis exclaimed. Louis’ expression of manic enthusiasm at the topic sent the boys into fits of laughter.
“Calm down your erection Lou, we were talking about chicken,” Liam managed to say after composing himself.
“And chicken is a code for who?” Louis slung his arm around Harry’s shoulders as he surveyed the room, looking for the potential “chicken”.
Harry sighed. “It’s a code for no one Louis. They just asked me which section of a chicken I enjoy eating the most and I told them that nothing gets me drooling more than a juicy pair of chicken breasts.”
“’course it does Harry.” Louis replied with a knowing smile. “As for myself boys, nothing gets me more excited than a roasted pair of hot wings. Wouldn’t you say so Liam?”
Liam nodded. “I knew you were a man of great taste Louis.”
“I thought you liked the breasts too Li?” Zayn interjected.
The smile on Liam’s face faltered slightly, Zayn noticed. Liam looked towards Zayn’s direction but not at him, instead training his eyes on a spot next to the dark haired boy’s head.
“Yeah,” Liam said almost inaudibly, before excusing himself from the group to get himself something to drink.
If Zayn had any doubts about Liam ignoring him before he didn’t have any now. It was the sombre expression that masked the younger boy’s face for a split second that finally convinced Zayn. Add to that the fact that he immediately excused himself after conversing (if it could even be considered as one) with Zayn, and the fact that this time around he didn’t have a book, a pair of earphones, or breakfast to use as an excuse, and Zayn became entirely certain that something was amiss between him and Liam.
“But what did I do?”
As soon as rehearsals were finished Zayn decided to hunt down Liam and interrogate him. It annoyed Zayn to no end that Liam was treating him like he was non-existent when he didn’t even know what his reasons were. Over and over again he asked himself what terrible thing he had done to elicit such a behaviour from Liam. He went through the events and moments that occurred before Liam started to become evasive, but to no avail.
“It doesn’t matter. Tonight I’ll find out.”
__________
Things weren’t working out as Zayn had planned. Five minutes after Joey had dismissed them his phone began ringing, its display telling him that Gen would very much like to speak with him. They spent about half an hour talking about what they have both been doing since Belle Amie was eliminated. Zayn could sense that his girlfriend was still quite disappointed and anguished at being voted out, so he tried his best to comfort her.
“When am I going to see you again?” There was a hint of excitement in her voice.
“Soon, hopefully. The first chance I get I’ll give you a ring yeah?”
“A ring? So soon?” Geneva teased.
Zayn laughed. “You know what I mean.”
“Alright. I’ll hold you to that! Love you babe.”
“Miss and Love you too.”
Although Zayn was happy to hear from his girlfriend, he couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed at having been delayed. He had a growing suspicion that his band mates had already left, and that he probably would have to catch a ride with Matt, Paije and Aiden. His suspicions were confirmed when he arrived at the parking bay, the Boy’s van the only vehicle left that can take him back to the Mansion.
Zayn planned on being quiet throughout the journey home, allowing himself time to plan what he will say and do when the confrontation with Liam finally came. The rest of the passengers would have none of it, however. Aiden kept formulating theories about what held up Zayn. He told him straightaway that it was because Gen called him, but the truth only seemed to give Aiden an excuse to craft a theory more elaborate and more impossible than the previous ones. On the back of the van, Paije and Matt kept talking about trivial things, changing the topic of their conversation at every major turn the van took. One moment they were talking about Paije’s Harry Potter stint, the next they were mimicking each other’s snoring. Normally, Zayn would be part of this rather chaotic jumble of conversations, but all he really wanted to do during their journey home was stare at the multitude of lights outside and reflect upon the past week.
Eventually the ride was over and they were back at the Mansion. After wishing his fellow passengers a good evening and thanking their driver, Zayn walked briskly towards the room he shared with his band mates. Amidst the soiled clothes, scrunched up sheets of paper, and other various rubbish, he found Niall on his bed, having an intense pokemon match on his Gameboy by the looks of it, while Harry and Louis were lounging on Harry’s bed, playing a game of cards.
“If you’re wondering who ate all the meaty parts it was Niall,” Louis said without looking away from his hand of cards. Niall didn’t seem to have heard, his eyes still focused intently on his Gameboy’s screen.
“Actually Louis, have you seen Liam?” Zayn asked after noticing that the person he wanted to speak to was not present in the room.
“Last time I saw that boy he was ravaging about two chicken wings per minute. Almost scared me to death. I’ve never seen Liam look so ferocious.”
“Oi Lou! I saw that! No cheating!” Harry gave Louis a sudden smack on the lap, before turning to Zayn. “I saw him go outside after we ate. Everything alright Zayn? It really was a group effort so don’t blame him. I mean we all revealed our dark sides when we saw all that chicken. Sorry we didn’t leave you a lot of the good bits”
After excusing himself from the boys Zayn made his way downstairs and back outside. He had an idea where Liam would be. At the back of the Mansion was a winding earthy path bordered by wild bushes and shrubs that led to a small clearing. In the clearing there was an old but stable swing, possibly a remnant of the house that stood where the Mansion stood now. It was there that Zayn was heading for now, knowing that whenever Liam ventured out into the night to have one of his evening strolls, he usually ended up there. Surprisingly, Zayn’s mind wasn’t in a constant state of traffic of thoughts about what he could have possibly done to upset his friend, and his anxiety seemed to have melted away during his walk too. The evening breeze was refreshing against his warm skin, the air around him imbued with the scent of the damp earth and dried leaves. Looking up he could see the faint glow of the moon and the legion of stars that surrounded it in the cloudless sky. Each step he took was followed by a satisfying crunch as his boot made contact with the unkempt path. Finally he arrived at the clearing, and as he predicted, the object of his frustration was there, sitting on the wobbly swing with his back towards him.
“This is it.” He thought, and once again he felt his anxiety return and double the speed of his heart and quicken his breathing. “Stay calm. Go straight to him and talk. No beating around the bushes. Just straight talk. No hesitation.” He replayed this mantra in his head and soon he took the first step. And then the second. Then the third. At last he was only an arm’s distance from Liam, who didn’t seem to have heard him approaching.
“I’ve got ninja skills,” Zayn mused.
Before the urge to run back to the house and confront Liam in another time overwhelmed him, Zayn forced himself to utter a single name: “Liam”
The effect on the light haired boy was immediate; his arched back straightened and Liam looked up from the ground. In a matter of seconds Zayn felt the air around him and Liam tense up, almost electric, and he wondered whether this was a bad idea after all; perhaps he should have let Liam approach him first when he was ready to talk.
“No. This is too important to delay. I need to talk to him now.”
“Liam,” Zayn said again, this time more clearly.
Liam stayed motionless.
Zayn put his hands in his pockets, took a deep breath and released it quietly.
“Here goes.”
“Liam, listen. I…I’ve noticed lately, I mean it was only just a while ago that I became sure, but yeah. I… you.., Darn it Zayn stop stammering!, Why have you been ignoring me Li?”
No reaction.
Zayn furrowed his eyebrows. “I’m sorry Li. I don’t know what I did, what I said, to have made you so upset with me. But yeah, I am really, really sorry. Please don’t ignore me.”
Nothing.
“Damn it Liam! At least tell me why you haven’t been talking to me. Yell at me! Call me a bloody idiot! Anything! Just not this… this silence that you’ve been giving me for the-
“Am I really invisible Zayn?”
Liam said it so softly that Zayn almost didn’t hear it.
“What?” Zayn asked, confused.
“Am I invisible?” Liam repeated. He began to lean on his knees with his elbows, intertwining his fingers as he bowed his head, making him appear as if he was praying, pleading.
“No. Of course not. Why would you be?”
“Well… It’s just that I can’t help but feel that it’s sort of is the case. I mean out of the five of us, I am the most serious. Almost boring really.” A short bitter laugh escaped Liam, and Zayn couldn’t help but flinch. “What have I done?”
“I don’t know,” Liam continued. “I just can’t force my self to be as care-free as Niall, or to be as cheeky and charming as Harry. I’m definitely not as funny as you and Louis. I just… I think may be it’s true…what you said. May be I am really invisible.”
It was then that Zayn finally realised what he had done. It was not the first time that Invisibility was mentioned between him and Liam. While they were shooting their fifth video diary, Liam stated that he would like to have the power to become invisible in response to a fan’s question. Zayn then remarked, quite insensitively, that Liam already was. Zayn made an effort to stop himself from slapping his forehead with his hand. “You stupid bloody idiot!”
Silence stretched before them for an immeasurable amount of time. The Bradford teen kept thinking of what he could do to reassure Liam that he wasn’t invisible, and at the same time he repeatedly rebuked himself for the pain he had caused. “C’mon Zayn think!”
Liam then raised his head and stood up, leaving the swing swaying slightly behind him. A sudden ripple of panic surged through Zayn’s body at the thought of Liam leaving without a reconciliation transpiring. In a few steps he closed the gap between the two of them and wrapped Liam’s torso in his arms. “What am I doing! I’m just making it worse!” The moment Zayn did it he wanted to let go for fear of how Liam would react, but he found himself unable to. Instead he deepened the sudden display of intimacy by resting his chin on the tender spot between Liam’s neck and shoulder, where it fit perfectly. He felt Liam tense in his arms, his body becoming rigid.
“Feel this?” Zayn tightened his hold on the boy, swaying their bodies slightly from side to side. “’Cause I do. I feel you Liam. You’re warm and you’re firm and you’re right here in front of me.
The dark haired teen then removed his right arm from the embrace and held Liam’s right hand, turning it so the palm was facing Liam. He gave it a slight squeeze and rubbed the palm with his thumb.
“And this too Li. I can see it. Rough and strong, ‘cause you’re a hard worker Li. You’re always there to keep things in order and to make sure that we’re all on the right track.”
Reluctantly, he released Liam. He held the younger boy on the shoulders and turned him so that they were facing each other. In the moonlight Liam appeared ethereal; His fair hair appeared effortlessly coiffed, the shadows on his face made his cheekbones prominent, and there was a glint in his brown eyes as it caught the silvery light from the night sky. Zayn gulped.
“And finally Liam, this.” He held Liam’s chin up and looked at his eyes. “I see you. As clearly as I can see the trees around us, the stars above us, the ground beneath us. As clearly as I can see anyone. I see you Li. So no, I’m sorry to say that you’re not invisible. At least not to me. I’ve got perfect eyesight you see.”
“So those glasses you sometimes wear?” Liam asked with a hint of a smile.
Zayn let go of Liam’s chin and grinned. “I like how I look with glasses. They make me look smart and chic.”
“Did you just say chic?”
“Oh my god yeah! Don’t tell Louis, I won’t hear the end of it if he finds out.”
Liam scrunched up his nose and laughed. “I won’t, if you promise me one thing.”
“Okay, what is it?” Zayn responded, suddenly curious.
“Please don’t submit me to that kind of cheesiness again! I couldn’t stop cringing inwardly.”
“It was your fault for ignorning me!”
“But you made me upset.” Liam retorted.
“And I’m sorry for that Li. I sincerely am.”
“Me too. For the way I acted.” Liam bowed his head and looked at the ground.
“Li?”
“Yeah?”
“I missed you.”
Liam looked up, a flush developing on his cheeks. “Missed you too man.”
They remained like that for a moment, just staring at each other fondly with smiles on their faces. The relief and happiness of having moved on from an obstacle in their relationship were evident in their eyes. The moment lasted until Zayn’s stomach let out an angry grumbling sound. With his arm around Liam’s shoulders they went back to the house, back through the winding path, both in good spirits as they managed to reclaim what they once had, and perhaps something more.
